Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Wine Update - Am I Immune?

So, last night I went to Funny Guys place to hang out.  When I arrived he surprised me (well, I have been talking about that wine incessantly) with a bottle!  He looked at me as if I were crazy as I bounced around with glee and covered his face with kisses.  He poured me a meaningful sized glass full of the elixir and I exercised restraint (being the lady I am) and daintily sipped away.  Within approximately 6 minutes it was gone and I brazenly held out my empty glass for more.  Well, I had about 3 glasses at his place, then we went to dinner and squealing with joy I found the restaurant carried the very same bottle of Asti!  I had another. That makes 4.  On an empty stomach.  Guess what.  I didn't feel a thing!!!  Nope not even tipsy.  WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME???

I know what your thinking.  "Its only dessert wine Suzanne" right?  But, whateva, I've never been drunk in my life, I should feel something other than eye-rolling-back rapture because it tasted so divine! Okay, it only has 6 point whatchamacalla amount of alcohol, but so what, I'm an egg!  A virgin!  A beginner!  Come on!!   Maybe its psychological or something.  Getting drunk has never appealed to me.  I suppose its because when I went to dances at school or house parties, someone always ended up throwing up on my shoes.  And they looked stupid all night long.  And the next day they were a mess! Those reasons added with the wretched taste, sister, I am so running in the other direction.  I seriously think I'm immune.  Is it possible?  Can it be impossible for me to get drunk?  Maybe my body is so unfamiliar with alcohol, (last year I can count on one hand how many times I had some dessert wine) that it just thinks its rancid grape juice or something.

Reminds me of a horrible time when I was rushed to emergency late at night screaming from excruciating pain shooting down my left leg! Turns out I had Sciatica, which is, as they say, the worst pain you can have next to child birth!  The doctor gave me four Tylenol 3's with Codeine and said it would let up.  10 minutes later, I was still howling the place down and thats when he got to serious work.  He ended up giving me a shot of morphine (right into my thigh), (I think it was morphine, I know it was something Demerol like, but not Demerol ) which didn't work, then gave me Percodan - (which I hear goes for a lot of money on the streets) which didn't work, then finally 3 tranquilizers. That finally did the job.  Gave me all of this in 45 minutes.  Yes, I still felt the pain but I didn't care.  Haha!

Ahh, me..

So what do you think?  Might I be immune???

Go get you some.

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  1. I would like to talk to funny guy and find out whether he thought you were drunk...many a time I have heard people say "I don't feel a thing" ..."I'm not drunk".....when they are clearly LOADED!

  2. Really??? Hmmm...
    I'm gonna ask him! Will get back to you!!

  3. The main symptom of being drunk is that people lose their inhibitions...maybe you don't have any, so you wouldn't notice the difference. You're out there and unedited and high on life WITHOUT the alcohol, and it's FREE! That's a good thing, no?

  4. Definitely good thing. Probably why I've gotten this far without it! :) Guess I won't ever be like the rest of the world! As Catherine Tate's Lauren would say... "Am I bothered though!" I am really a cheap date! haha!

  5. ok, here's the dealio... first of all, it was only5% alkeehol, so 1 teeny glass equals 3 or maybe 4 glasses of real wine ; )
    second of all... suze had maybe 4 teeny glasses. i think you should drink the whole damn bottle next time... and fast! like in 8 or 9 minutes. then we will see if u are truly immune.
    and yeah, i think u may have been a little tipsy....

  6. Is that you Funny Guy?! I was not tipsy! Hmmm, I will try your challenge. Actually still dreaming of that bottle. What's to become of me?!!!


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